Thursday 27 February 2014

Know What Not To Say

Inspired by a post on What Culture I thought about all the annoying things that people say to me when they find out I love film or just say to me in general. I admit I am guilty about giving away too much of a plot, but this is usually because I just want to share it with someone, but I go too far. 

This is the list of what I think you should never to say to someone who loves/appreciates film AND knows about film.

1. Mentioning a film has 'great twist'

Please don't do this. Once you know there's a twist, you will spend the entire film trying to guess what it is. I had this done to me and as i have already mentioned, I have been guilty if this, so please don't do this. Unless you are asked to tell all several times.

2. Saying you prefer the remake to the original

This is just ridiculous. You are only allowed to say this when you have seen both and can actually give a valid reason to why you would say this. Whenever I have heard this, the person never gives a reason. Its incredibly annoying and insulting the original film. 

3. Predicting the end of the film, out loud

Please don't do this. This irritates everyone apart from the one speaking and if someone does it to them, they get annoyed. Just watch the film, talk about it after.

4. This film looks boring

How do you know its boring? This is the same as, don't judge a book by its cover. Research the story, who made it, where it was made and you'll find out that it is not boring. Also, this is just lazy to say this.

5. Saying you don't like certain genre films 

I am guilty of this one too, I don't like watching horror film. But I have a valid reason. I get scared and I have a very wild and extremely active imagination. If I watch a horror film it stays with me and I don't like that feeling. But otherwise, how do you know you don't like certain genres if you refuse to watch that genre. This, does not make any sense.

6. Saying you don't remember a film you've just seen

I know my parents are guilty of this one. My dad has seen Inside Man so many times, each time its on, he's there watching. I tell him you've seen it and screams at me to be quiet because he can't remember anything about it. It's total bs. Other people too, they look at me after I quote the film and they say 'how can you remember anything from the film', why? BECAUSE WE JUST SAW IT!

7. Pausing a film for too long

When in company, never pause for too long. You will end up waiting ages for people to come back. 

8. Nothing happened

What do you mean? A whole film happened. I know of very few film where nothing has happened but its as rare as spotting a dodo. There is a story, things happen, the story ends. There, something did happen. This is usually said by people who ONLY watch action films or horror films.

9. Saying a director ripped of another director's ideas or saying that something is exactly the same

Its homage and its clever and shows respect. It also shows that you have seen other films, good, but don't its the same because that shows you are blind and that you don't have a creative mind.

10. Asking what happened because you weren't listening

PAY ATTENTION! Someone who is enjoying and watching does not appreciate being asked questions during the film, thus causing them to miss the film. My parents are definitely guilty of this.

11. Don't like old films, black and white or silent films

This to me, says you are ignorant as this is usually said by people who have never actually seen any of the above. They are films just in a different colour or without sound. Old films however, well, Avatar, that's old, that film came out ages ago, 2009, would you watch that? Again, don't judge until you've seen. I remember an old manager who I worked for in Blockbusters said he had never seen a b&w film and he said he didn't understand the concept of a silent film or foreign film for that matter. It was extremely stupid though. He used the excuse that I studied film so had to watch other films but he didn't need or want to.

12. Saying that films are not important

This is upsetting. Any type of creative or media type breakthrough is important. Saying film is not important is like saying history is not important.

Like Werner Herzog said: “Films might be the inner chronicle of what we are, and we have to articulate ourselves. Otherwise we would be cows in the field.”

13. Saying you don't watch foreign films

Same as 11. This shows ignorance. The worst kind of ignorance. There is life and films outside the english language. 

14. Try to catch someone out by asking who the director is

This applies to a couple of certain people I know. They always ask who the director is. Just because I love film does not mean I know everything single working director to this day. This doesn't mean I'm less in the know than you, it just means I don't know. Hot Tub Time Machine was on TV and we happened to watch a clip, I made the mistake of laughing then saying I'd like to watch it sometime, then they asked, disgusted, who the director was. I said it didn't matter. They, turned their nose up at it and started talking about Bergman. They only know a few directors but not producers, not productions companies, not screenwriters, so, who knows more? 

15. Saying its a 'boy's film'

This was said to me a lot at school. I was made fun of because I read movie magazines instead of gossip trash mags. I remember one girl even laughed at me and said, 'Oh my god, you're reading a men's magazine'. I corrected her and pointed out it was about films. She didn't understand. So, again, its an ignorant thing to say. Why is it a boy's film? It is blue and shaped like a race car? How stereotypical and sexist. There is no such thing as a 'boy's film'.

Now remember, try not to say any of the above and your film pal won't get angry and smash things. They'll do this instead:

Monday 24 February 2014

Welcome to The Ink & Paint Club

From start to finish the night was amazing!

Whenever I hear of these amazing events set up and created by Future Cinema and Secret Cinema, I always wished I could go, especially as the last one was Ghostbusters, alas I didn't go. BUT, when I saw the above flashing all over Facebook, I HAD TO GO!

Luckily my friend is also a Roger Rabbit fan, so, for her birthday we took a trip to The Ink & Paint Club (like in the film). It was amazing, completely amazing. I had horrible journey getting there, but it was all forgotten when we walked down the shad street to the door, complete with Gorilla at the door and some shady looking characters hanging round the door. We even had to find out the password before the event, and it worked! We were let in. We entered as if it was backstage and walking through the dingy hallways it opened out to the most amazing art deco venue, The Troxy by name but that night it felt like we had walked out onto the film set. I was very impressed.

Unfortunately, due to me deciding to walk 30 minutes to the venue, we didn't get a table at the front, near to the stage which was complete with band stand and a very enthusiastic host, it was in full swing when we arrived and shown our seats, exactly like in the movies! Excuse my gushing but it looked amazing, my photographs did not do it justice. They were film characters dressed up walking around the hall, the weasels and we caught a glimpse of Roger Rabbit himself hiding under a table near the bar. I sampled a Toontastic cocktail, delicious and almost had one of the weasels serve us, very amusing.

Before the interactive show began, we were treated to the Valiant brothers doing a routine before Teddy had a piano dropped on him, Betty Boop showed us some moves and Jessica gave a very good performance. Just after this, a manic chase erupted involving everyone in the show chasing Roger around the entire venue. While all this happened, Judge Doom stalked the back rows, glaring at people.

During the film, characters came out of scenes and walked around the room, still part of the film. It was so much fun. Also I was treated to Micky Mac and Cheese, very good, especially after that long walk.

Cannot emphasise how much fun we all had at the show and it looked like everyone involved was having a blast. At the end of the film, all the characters were on stage dancing, they started pulling people on stage to join in. At this point, sadly it was time for me to depart this magical film and animated land. An amazing night, I will most definitely be adventuring to another event.


Saturday 22 February 2014

We Like Sports

I am not a fan of sports films, usually, but I do have a short list of sports films I approve of. Sports films is a genre, whether I like it or not

All of the films lists are considered sports films, note, only one is football and there are no basketball or baseball films listed, for a massive reason.

Bend It Like Beckham (2002, Gurinder Chadha) - Football (not soccer) 
I can't escape this film, its from my youth and yes, it was good, for its time. People just look at this film now and call it cheesy or bad but they are and are wrong, it wasn't ground breaking but it was something that made people take a second glance at films made in the UK. I remember e-v-e-r-yone watching this and even buying it on VHS. Can't believe that in 2002 we were all still buying VHS tapes. I liked this story and it was genuinely funny. An outsider, fighting against convention succeeds in following her dream. A british film by a female directer, you have to support this rare occurrence.  And I think Keira Knightly should be very grateful for being cast in this film.

Whip It (2009, Drew Barrymore) - Roller Derby
Another film in the list directed by a woman, plus the amazing sport. I really got into watching the games or should I say bouts(?), I miss not seeing one every month, I still support my team though, the Steam Rollers from the London Roller Girls league. The film is a perfect mix of derby appreciation, friendship and I have to say this, female empowerment. This sport, solely belongs to women. Having seen so many games live, the films really does capture the energy and excitement of the game. I don't feel this with any other sport.

Rush (2013, Ron Howard) - Formula One Driving

Unlike the other films in the list, this film is based on two real life drivers, James Hunt and Niki Lauda and their rivalry. I am a huge fan of Daniel Bruhl (played Lauda) and and I was intrigued by the story and I actually didn't know the outcome, as I am not familiar with formula one driving history. It was brilliantly acted and I really got into the races that were shown in full. I mention more about the film in my Watch List comments.

Kingpin (1996, The Farrelly Brothers) - Bowling
A film not talked about that often, happened upon it when I saw it in the sale. I like Woody Harrelson, I love Bill Murray and I really wanted to see Randy Quaid play a Amish bowler. The story of a talented bowler (Harrelson) who is tricked by an evil rival (Murray) ends up losing his bowling hand and years later seeks revenge in a competion with the help of the Amish. Both Murray and Harrelson, as their older selves have terrible comb overs, and get really violent when playing, so the hair is everywhere. As well as bowling, we got ourselves a hair off people! Its a hidden gem.

Goon (2011, Michael Dowse) - Ice Hockey
This film was a surprise to me. I thought it was just a 'dumb' movie with Sean William Scott, but, as I said in my comments in my Watch list, the film was so much more. The central character, Doug (the thug) is unbelievably sweet and a great team player. I actually liked the look of the sport, a contact sport, like Roller Derby. It has a great story a guy who comes from nowhere to be apart of a failing team, only to bring it up to the top, again similar to Whip It. It may look like any generic sport movie but it feels a lot simpler and there is a heart in Doug's character.

Day at the Races (1937, Sam Wood) - Horse Racing
Horse racing doesn't always have to be the Seabiscuit story over again, it can be about the Marx brother trying to delay a race so their horse, High Hate can race. First time I saw this film, I laughed so much I cried, I could not stop. My family had the same reaction too. I would have thought this was a comedy rather than a sport film so I suppose this is a cross over, a bit like King Pin. To be honest this film is less about the actual competing and more about the characters and the comedy, thats all I can say. Just watch this film.

Friday 21 February 2014

You Can Never Out Fox The Foxo

It was a first day, my first time I had ever been to Spitalfields Market. I know, gasp, horror! There isn't really a reason why I hadn't, it seemed far to me and other people were surprised and kept telling me to go, so I made use of my day off and walked on down to the market. And I had the best excuse to finally go. Foxo.

My friend, Foxo, we call each other by this name, too long a story to explain but anyway, she now has a stall in the market, next to her sister's stall, Loulabelle Couture.

First off, I loved the market, everyone seemed so laid back and all the stalls were really amazing, I had a quick look around but stayed at my friend's stall. Click to have a look at her website. Emily Attwood Photography. On sale at the stall, are high quality prints, cards, postcards, mugs and coasters.

Had a good long catch up over coffee and nachos, inches away from the stalls, got to know a few market inside secrets (and jokes). I was even given an awesome Christmas present AND a little present direct from the stall. Foxo, did it again. This awesome coaster sits proudly on my desk now.

It was great to visit somewhere new in London I hadn't explored/visited. I do love markets that are crafty and creative. If anyone wants to recommend another craft type market place or just a really good market to visit, I'm open to suggestions.

This has been a short but sweet post.

Tuesday 18 February 2014


Both my sister and I finally got those tattoos we were talking about. My first, her second.

I have wanted a tattoo for literally years but have either been too scared or just not had enough money due to being in and out of work. But, now, no excuses. My sister had talked for ages about about getting a second done and I had thought about the illustration for ages. I tried a few locations on my person as well as changing the size. I decided, as you can see, left arm, bigger size.

We were recommended a place in Twickenham, home town, Tattoo UK and we both had our tattoos done by the very talented, Ben. I was slightly worried at the start and said I wouldn't look. Ben assured me that some people find it better to look. I said if I looked I would start to panic.

Behold, Smaug, the dragon or Little Smaug as my sister has called him. Any major (cool) nerds out there will recognise it from the original illustrations from JRR Tolkien's The Hobbit. I love Middle Earth, one of my favourite childhood books and I love dragons.

And my sister's, who designed her own. She does love triangles.

I admit it was painful but not as bad as I thought. I am sporting a bruise on my elbow crease so it may look painful but it isn't. Both our tattoos are doing nicely, just can't wait until its finally all healed up. 

After tattoos and discussions about scabbing, we went and had tea at my favourite place in Richmond, The Tea Box. We scoffed down some sandwiches and the most amazing scones and enjoyed a delicious cup of Lychee Red tea. When we left the shop, my sister said I was walking slowly, even though the fact my arm was sore didn't actually effect my legs!

An most excellent Saturday I'd say, tea and tattoos.

Friday 14 February 2014

Happy Valentimes!

I'm marking this day on my blog because to me its any other Friday but who am I to deny other people's enjoyment of this day.


As always, I refer to 30 Rock for some inspiration. I did try my best to get involved, brought in heart shaped marshmallows for people at work, joined in with the cocktails during a speech and joined in with the treasure hunt. Well, I asked for updates on the office treasure hunt while my friend ran around finding the clues, he won himself an umbrella, so he was happy.

I did keep with tradition, I watched a romantic film, Robot and Frank. Actually it was a bromance, I'll write an update for my February watch list, but it was a very good film, heartbreaking, amusing and actually insightful.

I leave you with one of my favourite scenes from 30 Rock on Valentine's day. All fans will know it and those who have not watched the show yet, FOOLS, watch it now.

Monday 10 February 2014

Stories Have A New Home

I signed up and joined Medium a few days ago. I read about the company, who also run Twitter, in The Guardian. I was busy annoyed by the fact that the 'media' section on Mondays in the newspaper had dramatically reduced once again when I saw the article on Medium and whether it was going to work. So, I joined. Not a great story. But the stories I added to the site are much better.

If you are a regular reader, you will see that I have posted the stories on here at one time or other. What I am trying to do is have a separate place for the fiction and my blog will be for film. This is shameless plug for my page on Medium.

Each story has a title, brief description and an estimated time it will take to read, I found that quite useful.

Follow me on Medium:

I will be adding more content soon, but for now, there are three entries on there to get your teeth into.

Sunday 9 February 2014

We Turned On The Juice

We've done Indiana Jones, Die Hard, Ghostbusters and last night was BEETLEJUICE!

Yes it was the return of the drinking game slash celebrating things yesterday. After a pretty bad few last hours at work I met up with my friends, who seem to be making this a tradition, which I like. We had a booze of choice ready, that delicious Jack Daniel's with honey whisky, and then we drank!

The film, Beetlejuice, the rules, as follows:

-Drink whenever someone says Beetlejuice (obviously)
-Drink whenever someone mentions death or ghosts
-Drink when you see the handbook
-Drink when someone smokes
-Drink when you see the sculptors or when they attack someone (happens more than you think)
-Drink whenever Lydia says something morbid or depressing
-Drink when a character enters another reality
-Drink when you see the sandworms
-Drink when Beetlejuice grabs his crotch and says 'Nice fuckin' model'
-And the shot moment or down your drink moment is when the prawn hands grab the guests faces

Of course, like we always end up doing, we drank to other moments such as when Charles Deetz makes bird noises or when you see what Delia Deetz is wearing when she's cooking, those trousers are insane! We also ended up drinking whenever Beetlejuice was on screen or is name appeared too. As you might have guessed, we were very drunk, especially as the drink we had were very strong. Next time we agreed less strong drinks and shots involved too, just so we keep at a steady pace.

Over all, it was a good film and lots of drinking, exactly what we all needed. Until next time, drinking game fans.

Tuesday 4 February 2014

Suspicious Activity in a Supermarket

On my days off I try to get out of the house, even if its to go food shopping, even if its up the high street. Most of the time I like to stay in bed sleeping the past weeks lack of sleep or stay in my room writing (sometimes) and watching films. But, as my parents have annoyingly pointed out, I need to get out of the house, even if I don't have plans.

I had a day off during the week and I really didn't want to leave my house, not because it was raining non stop, but I was settled, trying to watch season four of Battlestar Galactica, I'm in the middle of my marathon, and I really didn't want to go out. Then I remembered that I needed a few things from the supermarket. I remembered when I went to the kitchen and there was a serious lack of yoghurt. So, I slumped out the door and went to Waitrose.

I bought a few other bits and pieces I needed while wondering around the shelves. I had a craving for dried mango but couldn't find any. Eventually I found some of the dried fruit with the crisps, why, I have no idea. The crisps aisle happened to be near the wine and spirits sections so of course there was a security guard hanging around there but I didn't notice him at first.

The dried fruit I wanted was on the top shelf and of course I looked ridiculous trying to scrabble up the shelves to reach it. While trying to hold my now heavy basket and heavy bag too. I gave up and put my things down. No one but a little old man starring at the variations of nuts on the shelves was around, so no danger of someone making off with my things. Eventually the man moved off so I looked around, actually trying to see if any of the staff was around to help me. But I tried several times to reach the mango packet that now fallen over at the back, I noticed the security guard was hiding behind a pillar. I must have looked suspicious, looking around then trying to grab things off the shelf. But the guard, who I could obviously see was looking at me then quickly ducking behind the pillar. At that point I realised what I looked like so ran away from the shelf, abandoning my much desired mango.

Eventually I asked a staff member at the meat counter for help, he simply climbed the shelves and dropped the mango in my basket. I thought it was all over as the guard at seen this but no. I wondered off to the next aisle looking for humous this time and I could the guard looking at me suspiciously. I made it worse by trying to look out of the corner of my eye but in fact very obvious I was looking. Then, while I was queuing for the till, I remembered I wanted a newspaper so ran off suddenly again.

When I had eventually paid for everything and was leaving, the guard wasn't around. So ended my odd activity in the supermarket.

The fun didn't stop there though. My bus journey home was pretty darn annoying. Buses seem to be attracting more and more weirdos and arseholes. An elderly woman on the bus, sitting near the front, started harassing another woman, couldn't hear what she was saying but she was prodding and hitting her with her religious leaflet trying to get her attention. Eventually the other woman got up and moved and as I got off I saw a school boy sit down near her, I wanted to shout, 'NO not there!' but I was too late, she started being rude to him too.

Really hate buses.

HateBuses WriterWoes Dayoff Waitrose

Monday 3 February 2014

He Was The Master

Its not very often that a great actor leaves us, especially one like Phillip Seymour Hoffman. His sudden death was a shock indeed. I found out he had died just as I was leaving the office to run to the cinema.

I know everyone and everywhere in the film world is paying tribute to the great actor but I just wanted to write something, even if it was a short something. He is/was one of my favourite actors and I think its such a sad event to see him go.

I think Little White Lies said it best, posting a photograph of the actor with just 'The Master' above him.

Here are mu chosen Top 5 performances (not in any order) by Phillip Seymour Hoffman:

1. The Master - Lancaster Dodd

Playing a cult leader, similar but not exact to the likes of L. Ron Hubbard, PSH portrays 'the master' as, at first a sincere person who becomes arrogant and too indulgent due to his celebrity status. This film was over looked and not seen by enough people, but PSH was nominated for awards for his brilliant performance.

2. Before The Devil Knows You're Dead - Andy

Not sure how if that many people saw or even remember this family drama that turns sour. PSH played Andy, a business man who has run out of money, his marriage is falling apart so he turn to his brother, Ethan Hawke, for help in a crime against their own parents.

3.The Big Lebowski - Brandt

Of course this role is in my top 5, its a Coen classic. But this role shows just how impressive PSH is/was. He makes a supporting characters someone to remember, plus he is hilarious.

4.Capote - Truman Capote

This role won him his Oscar and recognition as one of the modern greats. Perfecting the role of real life writer, Truman Capote, PSH didn't seem like an obvious choice for the role but he's just too darn good this had to be in the top 5 and I am guessing everyone else's.

5.Magnolia - Phil Parma
Again, not the main character, not the main centre of attention, but the scenes between Phil and Earl Partridge are brilliant. He doesn't under play the part, its a quiet part of the film that I find most memorable, raining frogs and William H Macy's story aside.

And a special mention for Twister where he played Dustin 'Dusty' Davis (1:03) where he uttered the words 'Food!' and I quoted forever after.

Creating something is all about problem-solving.
Philip Seymour Hoffman 

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