Monday, 7 September 2015

More Than Halfway Over

I started this blog when I was 21 years old. It was my early 20s. Looking back or remembering that time seems both depressing and nostalgic. I'm heading over the mid 20's mark, in fact I hit that mark on Monday and I couldn't be more less pleased. Liz Lemon is illustrates my denial of my age.

There are quite a few people at my office who are younger then I and I fee like they have the world at their feet and few others a few years older and to me they've got thing figured out. For me, who has forever been floundering around in the middle, I don't feel like I 'fit in' anywhere.

Most people in thier 20s are still getting over that 'I've just left Uni' feeling and lifestyle, others are getting ahead in their careers. Some people are settling down to marriage and children. I'm doing neither. All I really want to do now, especially after a rather unfortunate Facebook arugment escalated (arogant hypocrites and a wannabe comedian got above themseleves) I just want to go off grid and travel away. But as money prevents me from doing this, I just want to watch movies and write about them, that's all.

The urge that some women get, the broody feeling of wanting a family, I have that same feeling but towards wanting to just pick up a bag and disappear. The urge does grow greater ever year. I've wanted to do so for years but am forced to conform like everyone else. Must have job, must have family, must have career, must have health. I don't have all these things and I will never know if I do. Sometimes I think, I owe it to myself to go out and travel but then when I look at my bank account I think maybe I should just try and work for years but then its too late to go off. I've always heard that your 20s are the times to be crazy and adventurous  and now heading closer to the 30 mark, I wonder, am I running out of time?

I can no longer say I'm in my mid 20s. This was what was hitting me for the last month but now all I can think about is the BFI Film Festival next month. I've been gearing up for the festival for ages. This is what has consumed me rather than 'oh dear gaad, I'm turning [insert age here]'. I think I'll be one of those people who forgets their age when they're 40 and wear clothes not for my age group. Or I'll just be in denial and when people ask my age I'll say 21.

I found a very appropreiate article full of gifs that made me feel slightly better, you can find it here.

I think this year will be the year of planning ahead or at least it should be. Anyway, cheers to you and lets all hope this year will outshine the last.


  1. This is the second post I've read this week from a 20-something fretting over getting old. You guys are getting way too deep about this. I know it seems like you're behind your peers, but we can only live life at our own pace. And if hitting your mid/late 20s is causing this much consternation and introspection I worry you might be a complete wreck when you get my age (mid 40s). Don't worry so much. Just hit up that film festival next month and have fun!

  2. Ah boo this is a completely normal reaction to reaching the otherside of 25 (I wrote something kinda similar then too). I think a lot of people in their mid/late 20s worry about time. There's nothing to stop you travelling if that's what you want to do - you won't be giving up a job you love or leaving behind a mortgage. Yes you'll be broke when you get back but you'll always have somewhere to live. And yes you'd have to start from the bottom and save again but that's ok - Lauren's about to do the same thing in March and she doesn't know when she'll be back again. Remember: time is a gift, given to you, given to give the time you need to have the time of your life :) X

  3. I think I will be when I hit 40 :) But you're right. Mid twenties are the worry years. I'm a natural worrier. But I will enjoy the film festival - very excited about it as this year I hope to go to more than 5 screenings, aiming for 10, at least.

  4. This is all very true - maybe I should save up for a long trip then. Ah yes wise words from Tic-Toc and the rest of the Tollbooth gang. Thanks boo x