Just like in 'Logan's Run', at the age of 30 I have to run around a weird tropical looking film set in terrible 60s futuristic costumes and vaoid being killed as every one who is 30 must be killed for...reasons. I've not see the whole film but that's how it goes.
To coincide with Empire magazine celebrating 30 years with 30 different covers I half debated naming my favourite films from each year BUT to be honest when I was 6 years old I think I just liked watching Disney films and loved seeing Toy Story on the big screen and then 5 years later watched Bean: The Movie 3 times at the new multiplex that opened because there wasn’t much on. So instead of lording it over this post with my favourite films from the last 30 years*, instead I’ll just write.
The milestone birthdays are usually when you hit a new decade, but prior to that, its usually when you become legally allowed to do something. These milestone birthdays have either gone terribly wrong or have had a delayed reaction. My 16th birthday was celebrated two months later (sort of) with an ill advised house party while my parents were away and my sister out for the evening. Of course it went really bad. But I also managed to have a good time and nothing seriously went wrong apart from a group of us being trapped in the living room when the door handle broken in the morning. There was another house party the following year which was terrible but enough of that. No more house parties until Uni. My 18th birthday was a small affair just my sister and an old friend who was 2 months older than me, everyone else was too young so we went up to KOKO in Camden and had great time but that was one of my first experiences getting the night bus home - this was before Uber kids and before I could afford a taxi - before the night tube too. My sister and I ended up stranded in Brentford for a while but otherwise my 18th went off without a hitch. My 21st was terrible. It involved being very ill the whole summer and a misunderstanding with an absolute arsehole, but enough said about that the better. The following year I wanted to avoid my birthday all together it was that bad, so my sister and I went to Berlin at hideously early am in the morning on my birthday - perfect! Now, as 30 is technically seen as the next big milestone, I wanted to mark to occasion in more ways than one.
Looking back, everything changed when I was 15. I decided to stop caring what people thought of me. I listened to the music I liked and fully leaned into the ‘I’m obsessed with film’ thing. I mention this age as there are a few things that have come back again since that time. I discovered The Futureheads when I was 15. I heard their first self titled album and was completely absorbed. Saw them live several times over the years and now, not only have they released their latest album, Powers, they are also doing a tour celebrating their first album - 15 year anniversary. ‘Hounds of Love’ was everything to me at the time and every time I hear that song I’m 15 again, at the front row of the first gig of theirs I went to. And yes I know its a Kate Bush cover but I still love their version. A favourite album. Give me Man Ray!
Another element that has returned is Tarot. I bought my first deck of Tarot cards from a random shop in Covent Garden - shop since closed - and started to learn how to do readings. I left it for years until late last year I found my way back. My parents’ Christmas gift was a Tarot workshop earlier this year and I’ve not looked back since. I’ve done readings for friends and family and recently gone back to complete the workshop (major and minor cards were split) and I’m eager to do more readings (shout if you want a reading from me). Tarot is very slowly becoming a bigger part of me and I can’t exactly explain it. I don’t need an alter or sanctioned place for the cards. I don’t think I’m that sort of reader. But it something to look to and work from.
Film has changed over the years for me. I had hoped to make a short film before I hit 30 and I did, even if it didn’t go the way I had hoped, at least its finished and I can stare at it on my shelf. I keep saying that I don’t want to make another film BUT a tiny part of me wants to create again. Writing is not off the table BUT I’d need to be in the right head space and right now is not the right time.
A while ago I wrote about Saturn’s Return and being in a state of flux, connected to the fact that it takes 29 years for Saturn to orbit the sun which means in the years between 29-31 you’re in a state of constant change. As I am still going through so much change, I can tell you this is real. Too real. I may not be getting banned from every river boat in Germany like Donna from Parks and Rec but I am going through career turmoil as well as other things.
As I turn 30, I’m still orbiting.
*Couldn’t resist! As this blog turns 10 next year, here’s a preview
Favourite films since 2011:
2011 - Drive
2012 - Rust & Bone
2013 - From Up on Poppy Hill
2014 - The Double/Guardians of the Galaxy
2015 - Mistress America
2016 - Hunt for the Wilderpeople
2017 - Call Me By Your Name
2018 - Skate Kitchen
2019 - ?