Monday, 7 September 2015
More Than Halfway Over
I started this blog when I was 21 years old. It was my early 20s. Looking back or remembering that time seems both depressing and nostalgic. I'm heading over the mid 20's mark, in fact I hit that mark on Monday and I couldn't be more less pleased. Liz Lemon is illustrates my denial of my age.
There are quite a few people at my office who are younger then I and I fee like they have the world at their feet and few others a few years older and to me they've got thing figured out. For me, who has forever been floundering around in the middle, I don't feel like I 'fit in' anywhere.
Most people in thier 20s are still getting over that 'I've just left Uni' feeling and lifestyle, others are getting ahead in their careers. Some people are settling down to marriage and children. I'm doing neither. All I really want to do now, especially after a rather unfortunate Facebook arugment escalated (arogant hypocrites and a wannabe comedian got above themseleves) I just want to go off grid and travel away. But as money prevents me from doing this, I just want to watch movies and write about them, that's all.
The urge that some women get, the broody feeling of wanting a family, I have that same feeling but towards wanting to just pick up a bag and disappear. The urge does grow greater ever year. I've wanted to do so for years but am forced to conform like everyone else. Must have job, must have family, must have career, must have health. I don't have all these things and I will never know if I do. Sometimes I think, I owe it to myself to go out and travel but then when I look at my bank account I think maybe I should just try and work for years but then its too late to go off. I've always heard that your 20s are the times to be crazy and adventurous and now heading closer to the 30 mark, I wonder, am I running out of time?
I can no longer say I'm in my mid 20s. This was what was hitting me for the last month but now all I can think about is the BFI Film Festival next month. I've been gearing up for the festival for ages. This is what has consumed me rather than 'oh dear gaad, I'm turning [insert age here]'. I think I'll be one of those people who forgets their age when they're 40 and wear clothes not for my age group. Or I'll just be in denial and when people ask my age I'll say 21.
I found a very appropreiate article full of gifs that made me feel slightly better, you can find it here.
I think this year will be the year of planning ahead or at least it should be. Anyway, cheers to you and lets all hope this year will outshine the last.